[Yaaaaaawns. Blink. Blink. Blink.]

Oh, hai.

Sorry I’ve been MIA the last two days. The kick-ass folks at Emancipet took my lady parts out the other day so I’ve been cold chillin’ on Easy Street the last two days recovering. Well, let’s be honest – I’ve been on Easy Street since Foster Mom & Dad took me in. But that’s another story for another day.

Along with removing my girly bits comes the sutures…and OMG, why are they so friggin’ itchy? Though I was all drunk and stumbling from the anesthetic last night, you better believe I was able to find those stupid blue sutures. Even in my drug-induced stupor, all I wanted to do was lick and lick and lick at them. From the second I woke up, it was like primal instinct:

“Wait, wuh? [Yawn. Blink. Blink.] What in thee holy hell are those?! Those are not supposed to be in my belly! Om, nom, nom… Nom, nom, nom. [Yawn. Blink.] Z-z-z-z-z.”

Yeah so, Mom and Dad put me in this ridiculous grey shirt. Well, actually, it is a sleeve of Foster Dad’s shirt and more like a dress for me. And yes, I know what you are thinking — “Gee, that mock turtleneck dress of hers is totes adorbs!” Actually, no. No, it is not. I missing a chic black monogrammed belt and in all honesty, Slate Grey is SO not my color, hello?! It is humiliating. Fortunately for everyone involved, I’m a super chill cat.

Now, I just walk around the house all like “Whatevs” as I’m singing that stupid Pussycat Dolls song.